I’m worried about these two Cavaliers. It seems my dream to give a Championship to my beloved Ohio is in jeopardy. And those juggernauts in the West… I will push these kids, Kyrie and Kevin. This triangle will work, with or without love. It’s just the way it is. I’ve wasted too much time. Last year it was painful but understandable. Now, with all the players available, we have a guaranteed spot in the Finals. No one on this side of the Kingdom seriously challenges us. That Joe Cool fella… from the Hawks days… he remembers. He went to sunny Miami just to send a message. It won’t matter. Irrelevant. D Wade knows it. That team is full of old timers. Injuries. No, no, they don’t steal my sleep.
The Spurs, however… a totally different story. Intriguing roster, they have. With the wisdom of Master Poppovich, directing the troops with his usual flurry of witticism and hard incentives. “Play nasty!”
Let’s see if Lue, my partner in crime, is able to lead this galleon to the promised land. Man, I want it so much… all those haters. I’ll show them. You can’t mess with the King. I’m the ruler of this universe. Kobe will retire. Soon, Timmy D will follow. I will be the only ruler of this League. Like it’s always been. These young fools… please.
Curry and the Warriors? That was pure luck! If Love and Kyrie were around, it was a lock. Even without Love. With Kyrie, it could have been a reality. The handles of that dude, unreal. We’ll get back to the finals again. I hope the Warriors beat the Spurs. The rematch. The fanfare. The storylines. I’ll rewrite history. The record books will show this Warriors as a very good team… for the regular season. They will be deprived of winning more Championhips while I’m still around!
This Curry kid? Please… I was already a King while he was learning how to shoot. I had magazine covers when I was a teeanger, dude… this Curry kid… I had to tweet about him the other day. That shot from the moon was just too damn good. Respect. Still, you’ll suffer the wrath of the King.
Outside shooting regressing (like the hairline), they say… I’ll show them all. The King and his Cavaliers will bring a Championship to Cleveland. The bliss… I can picture it. It’s so vivid in my mind… I’ll set the record books straight, win three or four Championhips and retire with the Crown… these Warriors kids have nothing on me… enjoy the fanfare, splash brothers. The King will finish your nice story. Nothing personal. You just can’t mess with the King. And the murmurs… “LeBron isn’t the best player anymore”… crazy! I’ll show them. Cleveland will have the best Summer in a long, long time. I can picture the parade…
Swishing from the moon
I’m Stephim Curryson, the new face of the NBA. LeBron James is a goner. Those stories from Cleveland are hilarious. Love me, love me not? Kyrie, unhappy? Coach Blatt, replaced when they were first? Ridiculous. I hope we meet them again in the finals. My brothers are ready for the challenge. Still some people are saying “with Love and Kyrie it would have been different”. That really pissed me off. We had to destroy them at home, for special kicks. The champagne soundbite and all. That was NBA Scholaresque, the amazing words whisperer! That dude rocks!
Spurs are the only ones who can challenge us. This machine is too damn good. The King slayer, Iguodala, my bro “the Dray”, Klay and his sniper precision. I’m having a lot of fun this season. This is only the beginning. The other day I was checking some old footage from Pistol Pete. He had some tricks and moves I can’t do. I’m working on it.
I’ll be bigger than Jordan. This team has everything. Youth, talent, excellent coaching. Moreover, chemistry. We really get along well. College like. It has been a fun season. Prepping for the game, before Riley wakes up. Busy day tomorrow. My daughter is already a media darling. LeBron who? I make threes from the midfield like I’m drinking coffee, boy. Sink about it. Without the th, of course. Man, I’m good.
Timmy D, LeBron, they’ve got nothing. I did the math. We can win 7 championships, that mythical number. The lucky number. Better than Magic, better than Bird, Jordan. I’ll be a worldwide icon. The new Jordan, without the hangtime. Replace it for the moon shoots. Book it, Sir. In your face, sunny boy. Unstoppable. Unpredictable. A lethal super weapon, disguised with a baby face. You got nothing on me, fools. Durant? Please… tonight, one more record will be mine. I’ll prep, Doors style. ‘Cause I’m Stephim Curryson, the new face of the NBA
“Let’s swish from the moon, uh huh
Let’s climb through the sky
Let’s swim out tonight,
It’s our turn to win
Parked beside the Bay
On our moonlight drive
Let’s swim to the moon, uh huh
Let’s climb through the history books
Surrender to the waiting NBA Gods
Their map on our side
Oakland, we love you
As you watch us climb
Winning through epic splashes
On our moonlight drive, baby
Come on, #DubNation , let’s take a little ride
Down, down by the Ocean side
Gonna get real close
Get real tight
Baby gonna drown another record tonight
Goin’ down, down, down
by Stephim Curryson and the Warridoors
Look at these fools. Behaving all excited like little kids. Not respecting the Big Fundamental. Dudes, you got 3 rings combined. I have 5. Get real. Last year we were unfortunate. It was a bad break. Anyway, it’s Spurs tradition. We never win back to back. It’s just not our thing. We’re stronger now. Aldridge and David West… are you kidding me? With Manu, Tony and the outside snipers. It’s gonna be fun to prove these fools wrong. All the exclamations and laudatory articles. Haven’t they learned? It’s five against five and, in the end, the Spurs win.
I hope LeBron wins. That conference is child’s play. I still have that loss, that stain on my polished résumé. The Jordanesque 6 out of 6, ruined because of him. I will absolutely crush him in the Finals. With my typical candid face. You’re disrespecting the Spurs. This anomaly called Warriors would be worthless against us. They are getting drunk on success. They forget it’s all about the playoffs. Go for it, go crazy with he 72-10 illusion. Drain yourself. We’ll take you and then LeBron. It will be my sweet redemption. And then, like the coolest of them all, I’ll retire. At the top. People would write… what if he had played two more seasons? Even more rings than Air Jordan! The story lines, the fables.
Curry and LeBron, please… they’ve got nothing. This roster is as solid as it gets. Even the NBA Scholar wrote about it. Wait for it, feisty ones. San Antonio will destroy, calmly and swiftly, with a relaxed and placid look. Like it’s nothing special. Because you see… winning comes easy for the Spurs. This is a machine. Popp, the genius. The international stars. This Boban dude, the potential… very helpful, he will be. The claw, already one of the best players in the league.
These fools… don’t they know we’re the only team playing with 3 different Finals MVP? Sink about it, ditch the th and all. Don’t they know we have 5 future HOF’s in this team… silly, these young players are. I’m Tim Duncan, Mr. Fundamental, I never get stressed. I just win. Spurs are a machine. It will be fun to win this year. I love these years when the media grossly disrespects us. Then they feel our swiss clock efficiency in awe.
Sixth ring is coming soon. In thirty years I’ll come to the games and be the brightest star. The Admiral taught me well. Man, I love this club, the comradery. These Warriors, playing the three games. They got lucky last year, didn’t face us. LeBron? They have chemistry issues. No love in that area, their game lacks substance. Lock LBJ and Kyrie, see ya dude. The Claw, Tony, Aldridge, West, Manu… legends of the game. And then there’s the bank shot. Crisp and clean. Sixth is coming soon. Book it.